What Happened to the Runner Who Shit Himself During a Half-Marathon?

Years after Swedish distance runner Mikael Ekvall crapped his shorts in the midst of a half-marathon, his photo still shows up on Facebook. You might've seen it with a "fail" caption or a demotivational poster—played-out viral image formats that were de rigueur at the time—or in any number of "world's most… » 1/23/15 4:10pm Friday 4:10pm

Elderly Man Sues Kaiser for Completely Eroding His Dick

An elderly man claims his penis "completely eroded away" over the course of two weeks, far past the point where reconstructive surgery could have saved it, because Kaiser wouldn't let his nurses remove a catheter. He's suing the insurance company for refusing to end his painful ordeal and causing "permanent genital… » 1/23/15 2:30pm Friday 2:30pm

The Decemberists Sing Actual, Terrible YouTube Comments

It is a truth universally acknowledge that YouTube comments are fucking terrible, a bilious display of the worst humanity has to offer, a Play-Doh factory where the Play-Doh has been swapped out for actual dogshit. Here, the Decemberists attempt to process that dogshit into something fit for human consumption through… » 1/23/15 12:20pm Friday 12:20pm

Willow Smith's Instagram Nipple Photo is Freaking Everyone Out

Willow Smith, a fragment of a holographic reality who has the ability to control time (and also the 14-year-old daughter of Will Smith) did her part for the Free the Nipple movement on Instagram by posing in a shirt with some boobs on it, and everyone is so mad at her. She's a parent's nightmare! » 1/23/15 10:35am Friday 10:35am

"Are We Making The Right Choice?" Asks Couple About to Fuck in Box on TV

Sex Box, the "tame, polite, slightly awkward at times and, overall, just dull" British TV series about couples having sex in a ... wait for it ... box, is finally coming to America. WE tv (which is apparently an actual network) has billed it as "the boldest show on TV" and promised "couples will have sex in this box… » 1/22/15 5:25pm Thursday 5:25pm

Joey Bada$$ Says His Phone's Been Tapped Since That Malia Obama Selfie

Brooklyn rapper Joey Bada$$ recently got some free press from Malia Obama, who took a photo wearing the shirt of his Pro Era movement. Pro Era posted the photo on Instagram after getting it from "a mutual friend of Malia and a Pro Era," and the White House reportedly launched an investigation into how it got out. » 1/22/15 2:26pm Thursday 2:26pm

Jeopardy Contestant Mixes Up Archenemies Iggy Azalea and Azealia Banks

Iggy Azalea and Azealia Banks are not the same person. They two have been taking shots at each on Twitter since 2012, and their mutual animosity finally peaked last winter, when Banks broke down in tears on Hot 97 while explaining why Iggy is everything wrong with the music business. » 1/22/15 12:37pm Thursday 12:37pm

Will Ferrell Invades NBA Game, Throws Ball in Cheerleader's Face

During halftime at last night's Lakers/Pelicans game in New Orleans, large, childlike adult Will Ferrell attempted a shot from half court and missed horribly, hitting a cheerleader in the head with the ball and knocking her over. While everyone surrounded the injured woman, Ferrell tried to take another shot and… » 1/22/15 11:30am Thursday 11:30am

Larry Wilmore: Obama Doesn't Give a Fuck What People Think Anymore

The Nightly Show's Larry Wilmore voted for Barack Obama because he's black, and is quite pleased that Obama has remained black throughout his two terms. But after this week's State of the Union address, he's even happier with the added bonus that Obama just doesn't give a fuck anymore. » 1/22/15 10:05am Thursday 10:05am

Canadian Woman Misses Boat by 5 Minutes, Throws Giant Canadian Tantrum

A woman's New Year's Eve was ruined when she narrowly missed the ferry to Vancouver and couldn't convince the station staff to let her board after the cutoff time. With her boat about to depart without her, she threw a tremendous, last-ditch temper tantrum that has rocked Canada's national sense of politeness and… » 1/21/15 6:45pm Wednesday 6:45pm

Man Accused of Wheeling His Dead Mother Into Bank to Get Cash

A Minnesota man has been arrested for elder neglect after he brought his 90-year-old mother to the bank and withdrew $850 in her name. Their stop at Wells Fargo came just hours before the man reported his mother dead, and police suspect he may have put her corpse in a wheelchair and used it to get the money. » 1/21/15 3:30pm Wednesday 3:30pm

Fleshlight Model Tours Factory, Meets Thousands of Copies of Her Vagina

The Czech model whose vagina is the basis for the popular Fleshlight sex toy paid a visit to a factory in Seville, Spain, to observe the process of turning part of her body into a mass-produced plastic tube that men around the world use to masturbate. » 1/21/15 1:00pm Wednesday 1:00pm

Farrah Abraham's Fucked Up Face Now Way Less Fucked Up, Congrats to Her

Two weeks ago, America's favorite former Teen Mom (backdoor division) Farrah Abraham posted the gruesome results of a lip implant that went awry, giving her the appearance of a bottom-feeding aquarium fish with breast implants. It was fucked up, and she loved it! But all good things eventually end, and Farrah's… » 1/20/15 6:10pm Tuesday 6:10pm

Why Sienna Miller Had to Breastfeed a Plastic Baby in American Sniper

Critics everywhere agree: American Sniper is a movie with a fake, plastic baby. The doll who plays Bradley Cooper's child is so transparently not alive that it's hard to believe it appears in an Oscar contender with a $60 million budget. What was Clint Eastwood thinking here? » 1/20/15 4:10pm Tuesday 4:10pm

Justin Bieber Will Finally Get the Comedy Central Roast He Begged For

Making fun of CGI Marky Mark Justin Bieber is so easy and so natural that it's become boring to most humorists, but Bieber apparently wanted his own Comedy Central roast so badly that the network finally gave in and agreed to metaphorically set him on fire. » 1/20/15 12:44pm Tuesday 12:44pm